SO it’s 8.41pm on Monday and you were supposed to hand in this article two and a half days ago. It’s late, but let’s hope that your editors at Flair are nice and understanding enough to still allow you to publish this article (*does a little prayer*).
I know you want to write something nice and meaningful for the people who take the time to buy the paper for your column but somehow, these types of letters are the ones that you manage to write the fastest, so perhaps we should just go with that?
If anything, I know you try and be as honest as you can and this is as real as it gets. You didn’t have the time to get this in earlier. How could you not find the time over the last two weeks to sit down and write 800 words?
I know it sounds mind boggling but it’s okay, I know where you’re coming from (plus I’m you, so let’s back each other up). It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Rough in the sense that it’s been challenging, but not rough enough for you to flip tables and give up (even though I know you have thought about it).
You’re tired, mentally drained and could do with a few more hours of sleep (it’s not just me, your eyebags are the ones giving it away) — and this is without children! Can you imagine what it would be like to have this schedule with two or even three little Imans running around? Let’s pray for you.
It’s been a bit hectic in the office, I know. There are so many fun and exciting things happening and you want to be in the midst of it all, but sometimes you need to take a backseat and let others run the show — it doesn’t have to be about you all the time. Plus it would be great to let the new ones on the team show you they can handle big projects.
You shouldn’t underestimate others just because they don’t speak as much as you do, or think the way you do. Not everyone is the same, and you have to stop thinking that they are not capable; how will you know if you don’t give them a chance? Let go a bit Iman, and you may be pleasantly surprised with how your tribe mates perform. They may kick butt even better than you!
Alternatively if things do not go as planned, don’t take it out on them. Instead look at yourself and see how you’ve failed to teach them. Don’t give up okay, I think you’re doing great (hey, a little self motivation never hurt!) and there is still so much I know you’re able to do. These things take time, which I know we’re not guaranteed so just keep running ahead as fast as you can.
Make things happen. Eat better. Work out more. Do not miss your prayers. Say sorry when you’re wrong. Say sorry when you’re not wrong. Be kinder. Have more patience. Be generous with your smiles. Bite your vicious tongue, especially when you want to say something mean — the world does not need more unkindness. Remember to be grateful. Bounce back from criticism faster. Put in more effort to be present and to do things genuinely.
Like, for example, last week when Ashraf said you never cook dinner. You took that pretty badly and went into a bit of a tantrum. But when you took the time to think about what he was saying, he wasn’t saying it to be mean. It is the truth — you haven’t really been the best wife.
We were both there when you guys ran out of clean underwear, that was not a good day.
Overall, maybe you should think about putting more effort in your work-life balance. You don’t need to leave the office early every day, but perhaps several times a week? I know Ashraf would appreciate that. Just like when you decided to take what he said positively and actually made daging salai masak lemak cili padi for dinner.
It wasn’t easy, especially since you didn’t know what daging salai was, and had never cooked masak lemak before. But you made it work! The recipes were all in Malay though, but Google Translate came through for you; See, things happen when you want them to. Plus, wasn’t it a nice feeling when Ashraf had two servings AND boasted to all his friends about how good your cooking was?!
Felt nice huh?
We should keep that up. It’s a good balance to have between your work life and home life — I know you don’t feel good when they are out of sync. The only person that can keep that balanced is you. Come back to this article when you need a reminder.
Also come back here if you’re having a bad day and remember that you are only human. No matter how much you want to do it all, be it all, and have it all, you are not Wonderwoman (so happy you finally watched that movie, by the way. Took you long enough). Take it easy, work as hard as you can, and remember that I am proud of you.
I am proud of what you are slowly building, proud of the goals and visions you have for yourself, and for what you aspire to be. Be happy of what you’ve done, but never get comfortable. Keep pushing on, because I know you can.
A letter to yourself might seem silly, but I think this is the greatest way to be honest with yourself. Because who else is going to tell you like it is?
Journalism graduate Iman Azman continues to navigate her way through the creative industry as a member of the dUCk Group's marketing team. Here, she muses about her work, finding balance in life and shares what it's like diving in headfirst into new experiences and opportunities. Follow her journey on Instagram www.instagram.com/iman_azman/.